BE NICE
BE NICE
The quality of being nice has always being shrouded in inconsistencies and misinterpretations. For starters, it is important to make it clear that being nice is a good thing. It is not weird to be civil. And respecting the sanctity of a fellow human being shouldn’t be considered a weakness.
Our world has been characterized by the big wars in the past, constant threats of nuclear wars in the present, and a seemingly never ending cycle of hate and prejudice which sadly are showing no encouraging signs of abating. The blatant disregard for humanity and sheer carelessness on display is frankly disturbing. As a result, it is perhaps time to emphasize the almost dying virtues of niceness in all its various forms, whether through civility, tact, politeness or genuine concern for other people’s feelings.
Today’s Nigeria is riddled with shocking scenes of mortal instability (and I write this on the back of recently losing three well known acquaintances to gruesome murder connected with kidnapping and armed robbery). The atrocities currently on display make for terrible reading — banditry, unknown gun men, day light looting and insurgency bordering on terrorism. It is tempting to wonder how we got here. At what point did we totally lose our sense of humanity? That intangible thread that connects us as fellow members of the same species. That little strand of affection and camaraderie that should be a basic human trait. At what point did hurting a fellow human became OK?
“Guns don’t kill people. People kill people”. As much has there have been various scholarly opinions about the insufficiency of this mantra to full explain the extent of damage that comes from man-made weapons of war fare, it is becoming crystal clear that if we are to put the blame on any party, the first place we should look at is our mirrors. People have totally lost any iota of empathy. The toxicity is palpable and shocking.
The proliferation of social media and the internet has meant that online places are now the go to avenues for previously impossible conversations. The concept of a global village means that with the click of a few buttons, any message can be passed across to almost anybody. Sadly, the rise of online prejudice, hate speech and abuse are at an all-time high. People are being subjected to unwholesome levels of abuse by people who they have never met, and may never meet in one lifetime. The depth of hostility is so alarming.
And this is one area where society can witness some much needed change. If people can be even a little more cautious and courteous about the way they interact online, we would be on our way to a better and more inclusive and tolerant world. With the rise of depression and mental health awareness, it is clear that our tweets, comments and posts can positively or negatively affect the thousands and millions who interact our activity online. Some form of niceness and tact would definitely help.
A while ago one of the persons who just received abuse online stated categorically that these ‘keyboard abusers’ would not have the nerve to say these things in person. While he was probably referring to power play, it is also true that people may be more likely to be nicer in person than in an online conversation. Despite the many advantages of the internet and social media, it is having a negative effect on the age old human to human connection. Potentially hour long conversations are now collapsed into 14 word tweets, compliments have been replaced by likes and comments. Our humanity is definitely worse off. Having physical connections fosters a sense of empathy and civility that may not be readily visible in an online interaction, especially for conversations involving strangers.
On the whole, I have experienced my fair share of hate and niceness both online and in person. I can say that the message of being nice, civil and empathetic should continue to be preached regardless of any evidence of stagnancy. I would definitely agree with Matt Dinan that “being nice is not a barrier to social justice, but a path toward it”.
